LEXNUCLEUS

We went to the beach. Seeing it and being there again for the first time after a long time, with you around, it just felt so overwhelming. The moment brought back all the memories that we shared. I looked at you and smiled, but then you looked away. Although after awhile, I caught your eyes when you glanced at me.. and you smiled back. It made me giggle inside. I know that you remembered the same things that were flashing on my mind that time. I’ve noticed that you’ve been trying to avoid my eyes as much as you could, but I know… I know you felt it too.

I looked at the direction of a very familiar place… I’ve noticed that you were looking at the same spot, or maybe I was just imagining things. I got lost in my memories of us, the waves brought me back to where and how we used to be –

at the beach.

It was summer too, we were camping by the beach, the only light that we had was that coming from our little bonfire. The night was cold, but I held you close and you wrapped your arms around me to keep us both warm. We whispered endless I love yous while we lay on the beach towel that was laid on the sand. That same spot that our eyes were both fixed on, is the same spot that witnessed our love.

I walked towards you to ask if you’re alright, you just nodded. When I’ve tried to hold your hand, you suddenly stood up and asked if I may excuse you for awhile, because you’re just going to take a dip in the sea. And you walked away… towards the sea, slowly dipping your toes like a little kid. You’ve always been like that, seeing you do those things again, made my heart smile. How I’ve missed you all these years, Lex.

You then dipped and dived into the water. The rain poured and you were like a kid rejoicing at the sight and feel of the rain. It brought back so many memories, like how we used to stroll at the beach, with you holding my hand, as we walk under the rain. It doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night or dawn. Once the rain pours, we get out of the cottage or our tent… bathe, dance, and kiss in the rain.

You love the rain, I don’t know why, but you just do. and saying that you love it is even an understatement. The rain, the sea, the beach and you. The sight was so perfect.

But just like all other things, such beautiful sight didn’t last. You complained about having a hard time breathing. It turned out that you were having an asthma attack. We needed to drive you to the nearby clinic to seek for medical attention. Good thing the nearest clinic had all the  necessary medical supplies. I’m glad that after some medication, your asthma subsided and you were fine again.

When your friends left, we were left in my car. I told them I’m going to drive you home. You looked so sleepy while we were in the car. Perhaps it’s the effect of your medicines. I pulled over and just stared at you while you were sleeping. Traced your face and stroke your hair so slowly and gently, so afraid that I might wake you up. I missed doing such little gestures, how I wish the moment would last. but, I know you’re going to wake up anytime.

I kissed you softly on your lips… and then as I expected you moved and woke up, just in time when I started the car’s engine again and then I drove you home. We reached your house and I told your mom about what happened. She said her thanks, and then you held my hand and said thank you in such a very sincere way. It made my heart skip a beat. You went straight to your room and I am guessing that you went to bed to sleep.

How I wish you didn’t have asthma attack, we could’ve spent a longer time together, even if all your other friends were around. I really miss you, I wish one day soon, I could stroll at the beach again with you holding my hand and never letting go.