LEXNUCLEUS

Days after you left, still haven’t heard from you. No nothing. You knew that I’d be waiting for your call; I got so paranoid if I missed your call or something. I kept the phone beside me the whole time. I checked at home if you called or what; but you haven’t… no you haven’t.
It’s crazy, how could you? You left just like that and you wouldn’t even bother to call, even just for a minute. Just a simple “hello”, all I needed was to hear your voice to keep me going for another day… but no– nothing…

I kept away all your photos, so they won’t end up torn apart. I couldn’t even get myself to eat much because even the food reminded me of you. I wanted to hate you for torturing me, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even stop myself from thinking of you, and it’s making me miss you even more. Just a short call… i wished so hard but to no avail. There’s e-mail, there’s SMS, but still, — nothing, not a single word from you. I thought you said it’s never going to end for us, but everyday without you filled me with an indescribable emptiness.
I thought…Maybe where you’re at is too beautiful for you to even bother to remember, that someone back home is thinking of you…. Now that you’ve migrated there, to your new found home, new life, everything new. Perhaps, I’m just a part of your past. A past that’d slowly fade away. [Sobs]
I felt like an abandoned little child in the midst of nowhere. I felt extremely sad, like something inside me died, over and over again. The feeling was like being confined in a rehab where you need to be away ; I had everyone around me. My friends and family… but I never felt so alone. I felt so sick and never gonna get well. I missed you like a thirst that could never be quenched.
I felt too lazy to move or even get out of my room. I had dark draperies cover the windows and never turned on the bright lights again, my room became dark; until now, it is…
Because the mural painting that we did on one of the walls in my room? reminds me of you every time. I’ve repainted my room too many times since you’ve been gone, but I can’t seem to touch that part, I can’t erase the traces of you, like how I couldn’t erase you from my thoughts… and my whole damn life…..
…and you… No, nothing! But still, I kept on waiting for your call…